Scribblings from an eventful life

crab‘Mature’ rather than ‘old’ sounds more palatable to octogenarians (I know we’re only kidding ourselves…) but mentally, we are ‘all’ ages, depending on the mercy of the specific ailment we are suffering from on any particular day! I have no intention of being flippant about bad health (been there and have the clichéd T-shirt…) and will place it respectfully to one side for now.

Most days, having sidled out of bed (crablike) and pinched myself… I gently ‘reassemble’ (really!) of a morning, eschewing the unfavourable mirror – trust me, there is one – shower and apply minimal make-up (no mutton-dressed-as-lamb stuff for me!). A simple, healthy, breakfast follows, and then I welcome what the day has to offer.

Now retired to Spain, on warmer days (generous here!) we: ‘Im indoors’ and I venture near the Mediterranean sea around twice a week for breakfast or coffee or have same on our patio. When friends arrive from distant shores, we join them now and then for lunch or dinner; or go for a drive somewhere scenic, all of which is most pleasant.

There is, of course, a BUT. We don’t always feel like spring chickens, and we do have our ‘off’ days, weather-wise, so it is comforting to have indoor pursuits like music, TV, crossword puzzles (husband), reading and – in my case – writing.

And that is when the memories come creeping in!

Doctor Clouseau?

doc bag1969. With three of my desired children born, the youngest son not yet one year old, a business to run (a large greengrocers/grocer’s shop) and a husband on the verge of having an ulcer, I did not want to hear my doctor announce: ‘An operation ASAP,’ after one of the first smear test results came back positive… That was on a Monday and I had the operation on the Friday, so hurray for a speedy NHS, then. The dreaded word: ‘Cancer’ was rarely mentioned then, so I told my biggest lie ever… and said I had a gynaecological problem – which was sorta true…(didn’t want to worry the folks unduly).

All went well, and with no chemotherapy required. I was elated, despite having to stay in hospital for two long weeks… (Gold stars for my darling Mum and husband).

On release, I felt so well I did a good shop, cleaned where needed and cooked a celebratory dinner for us all. And then I haemorrhaged. Imagining a clanging ambulance dash to hospital to receive pints of blood, I was shocked to be told by the Matron on the phone. “Put your bed on blocks, tear up a sheet, climb in and lie still until your doctor arrives.” Oh dear. Hours later… a young, most annoyed, gruff… assistant doctor arrived.

“You’re very lucky, you know!” he said, frowning (My own, lovely doctor was on holiday). Injecting me with a needle the size of the Post Office Tower building… seeming surprised when I winced, he then gave me a HUGE tablet, on which I nearly choked (No exaggeration). I wondered, briefly, about his marital bedside manner, for his ‘professional’ one was the pits… I was still doubled up in pain (was that an ‘Exit’ sign I spotted on my retina?!) Meanwhile, he treated me as a damned nuisance. Fortunately, things changed.

After a few, perfunctory questions and ‘advice’? the reluctant doctor closed his black case resting on the bed, ignorantly trapping the cord of my husband’s striped pyjamas just peeping from beneath a pillow and proceeded to drag them across the floor like a comatose tiger. I had difficulty in restraining a giggle, but the entertainment wasn’t over, no siree. In his haste to escape, the doctor tripped over one of the bed blocks and flew through the – lucky for him – open doorway. By then, despite the pain, I was convulsed with laughter. Red-faced and furious, he returned to the room and released said offending pyjama trousers from his case. The patient lived. The cure? Humour…

That was over fifty years ago, and it still makes me smile.

If you’d like more tales from the past, keep in touch for ‘memorable memories.’

 

© Joy Lennick 2018

 

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Scribblings from an eventful life

  1. stepupandstandout 11/12/2018 / 4:27 pm

    As usual Joy, your wit and fabulous display of vocabulary is entertaining and enjoyable, and a good laugh too!

  2. rohini99 11/12/2018 / 8:46 pm

    I can imagine it. I’d have been laughing too.

  3. Tandy | Lavender and Lime 13/12/2018 / 10:02 am

    That really must have been an awful experience for you! But the Doctor got what he deserved – such a pity they don’t teach bedside manners to them. And what a time when Doctors still made house calls. Few and far between today.

  4. joylennick 13/12/2018 / 11:05 am

    Thanks,Tandy, It was a bit ‘hairy’ at the time, but we all have our ups and downs, don’t we? Best wishes for a jolly.Christmas and a healthy New Year. Joy xx

  5. D. Wallace Peach 14/12/2018 / 6:39 pm

    Oh my. I had to laugh at the dragging pajamas and the, fortunately injury-free, trip. I sometimes think that life does that on purpose. And humor is a wonderful remedy for most of what ails us. Thanks for the laugh, Joy. 🙂

  6. joylennick 16/12/2018 / 6:43 pm

    Thanks, Diane. I recall being thoroughly entertained by one of your pòsts awhile ago! Have a great Christmas and New Year.

  7. dgkaye 18/12/2018 / 2:40 am

    I love your stories Joy. Just sad that your surgery and the hemmoraging were true stories. You are a warrior woman! 🙂 x

    • joylennick 18/12/2018 / 10:25 am

      Muchas gracias Debby, I know you’ve had your share of woes too..Life is all ups and downs, isn’t it. That’s why we must celebrate the highs, and we do, don’t we! Here’s to peace,love and happiness.Ole!. Hugs xx

      • dgkaye 18/12/2018 / 4:31 pm

        Ole! Yes Joy, I’m all in for those! ❤

  8. Vashti Q 20/12/2018 / 10:06 pm

    What a lovely and entertaining way of sharing your bad experience, Joy. You’re so right, laughter is the best medicine. I had a couple of nurses with that same crabby attitude which makes me wonder what they’re doing in the medical field to begin with. Thanks for the laughter and inspiration. ❤ xo

  9. willowdot21 03/01/2019 / 11:11 am

    Oh! Joy this was just brilliant you had me on stitches. So glad we have met 💜🥂

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